Boys Again

Remember last time I said I was over the boys and that they were gross well that was false! I saw this one boy who I've had the largest crush on walking his dog like two weeks ago. Since then I could not stop thinking about him! Which is so so so silly! It's just a male. But a very cute, intelligent, kind male! 

But I found out today that the feelings weren't mutual. At first I was saddened. But as I am writing this post  I'm at peace with it! 

I was feeling down so I decided to pray. At first I was apologizing to God for letting my heart be vulnerable and wanting anyone but him! But then all the sudden I was thanking God! It was amazing. I truly believe God has huge plans for me. I think these plans include my heart being whole and pure. He doesn't want me to ruin my heart in anyway. God wants me to be sensitive towards everyone and feel their pain! If I had my own pain I don't think I would be as compassionate towards others as I am now! I would always think "I've been through worse". Often when I see hurt people now I feel sad for them and want to help! I couldn't imagine going through what they are! 

As of right now I plan not to date until I'm out of high school. I think that's what God wants me to do. I plan to make him number one in my life and not let anyone take his place. If I am going to be thinking about someone all the time it's going to be God.... Not a silly boy! 

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5, 6 NLT)